Willingness

I sat down on my bed with a sigh, feeling very tired. After spending nearly all day working outside in the yard, and making many trips back and forth with a wheelbarrow that was overflowing with dirt, and having an exceedingly difficult time deciding what to wear to church in the morning, I was very worn out. In case you’ve never experienced it before, moving a wheelbarrow that is filled with dirt is a very physically and mentally taxing activity.  Trying to keep it from tipping, whilst thinking, “If I let this dump, I’ll have to put it all back in again! Oh dear, oh dear!” :)

I glanced over at the stand I have by my bed, and saw my Bible sitting there.  I didn’t want to read it. I was too tired. “I’ll read extra tomorrow,” I said to myself.

It seems that whenever I don’t really feel like reading my Bible, and I know I ought to, and I choose to do it, even though I don’t really want to,  the Lord brings to my attention some passage or verse that is just what I needed to read at that moment.

Tonight was no exception. I opened to 2 Corinthians 8, and began to read.

 v. 2 Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own…they gave themselves first to the Lord…”

I know these verses were probably intended to mean giving financially, but the Lord reminded me through them that I must first give myself: my dreams, desires, talents, gifts, everything – fully over to be used by Him before He can use me in anyone else’s life. He has called me to complete abandonment, and then, and only then, can He use me.

v. 12 For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have.

I mulled these words over and over in my mind as I lay down and pulled the covers up to my chin…“For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have…” 

It truly doesn’t matter whether I am as good as someone else at something, or if there is someone else who could do a better job at something than me. (There will always be someone who could do better.) For if I am willing to put myself at the Master’s use, “the gift is acceptable,” and He can use me, and He will use me. Perhaps I’ll never know how He chose to do it, but that’s okay. I don’t have to know.

My “gift,” the gift of my life and heart, is acceptable to Him, if only I am willing to surrender to Him, and let Him have control.